Stupid Wisconsin

I'm sitting here still watching the triple overtime between Wisconsin and Cornell. I don't know why. I really don't care. Also, I already know who won because apparently FSN North is showing it on a tape delay. So, why am I still watching? I really don't know. Whatever. There's a Nazi thing coming on at ten, so it's buh-bye hockey then.

A fairly non-productive weekend, overall. I did get to try a new restaurant last night, though. It was Taste of Thailand on Selby Ave in St. Paul. Yum. I was afraid I wasn't going to find anything on the menu, as I don't like curry and Pad Thai is not my favorite. I shouldn't have worried. I actually had a hard time making up my mind. I ended up with a whole trout that was deep-fried and then covered in stir-fried pineapple and veggies. It had kind of a sweet sauce, and it was nummy. Go Thai food!

Well, the Nazi thing is starting, so I'm going to go. I've always been fascinated with the whole Nazi phenomenon. I just can't get my mind around so MANY people going SO insane all at once. Although, Stalin was a much scarier guy than Hitler, but that's another story. Hope everyone had a good weekend. TTFN!!!


I *heart* Vicodin

Don't freak, I'm not on the road to needing rehab or anything like that. It's just nice to have something that actually helps for the occasional times when I have pain that is unusually annoying. It also give me kind of a warm fuzzy feeling, which is OK, too.

On the way back from Rochester today (memorial service was very nice, btw) I saw a bumper sticker that said "Support our troops - Club a protester". Oh for the love of Pete. That ranks right up there on my list of stupid bumper stickers. Protesters aren't protesting because they have anything against the troops. They're doing it because the way the US got in to it in the first place and how it has been handled all the way through has been ham-handed at best and illegal and immoral at worst. They're protesting because Bush is...OK, I'm not going to go there, because I want to go to bed soon. Anyway, moronic bumper sticker of the week.

I'm starting a list, actually I've had the list for a while, but now I'm going to commit it to paper. OK, actually to a bunch of ones and zeros floating around cyberspace, but you get the picture. This is a vocabulary list of sorts. Basically these are words which, if I discover a potential suitor uses on a regular basis, will prevent said suitor from continuing in his, um, suiting. I'll add to it as it grows. To start with: exspecially, supposably, exscape, nuke-you-ler. That is all for now.

I'm signing off now, as I must get up early to go over to the brother's place to watch the hockey so I can be done in time for the hockey. I do enjoy the hockey. TTFN!!


Nothing deep or meaningful

I watched the season premier of South Park tonight. SOOOOOOOOOOOO messed up. I'd love to sit in on one of Matt & Trey's therapy sessions. SOOOO incredibly messed up. But in a pretty damn funny way. Craziness. I've got tons of stuff to do and yet I'm sitting here. Shocking, I know. A friend called me the other night because her husband clicked past Spongebob Squarepants on the TV and it made him think of me. I can't help loving him. He's yellow and he has a snail/cat named Gary. What's not to love?!? I've just realized this is jumping around topics in a stream-of-consciousness kind of way, so I'm just not going to bother with paragraphs. I have to go to a memorial service tomorrow in Rochester for my cousin's grandmother, who was kind of like a third grandma to me. I don't like funerals, etc. I pretty much suck at saying anything that doesn't sound dumb, and I'm not a crier, so I always wonder if people think I don't give a crap. Which isn't true, but for me, the funeral doesn't provide any additional closure, or whatever. For me the person dying is plenty of closure right there, thank you. Big important hockey game tomorrow, which I'm probably not going to be back in time to watch, so my brother is recording it on his DVR. Which means I'll have to get my ass out of bed on Saturday if I'm going to have time to watch all of the evening's festivities before the championship game on Saturday. I'm filled with a sense of dread. I mean, St. Cloud. Come ON! Anyway. I really think the small ice will be no friend of the Gophers. Here's hoping they prove me wrong. My cat is snoring on the other end of the couch at the moment, even as she shoots fur into the atmosphere. Cats rule. I got a magnet yesterday that says "The cat's seat is wherever you were planning to sit". Awesome. OK, I really need to go at least figure out if I need to iron anything for tomorrow, since no matter how good my intentions, there's no way I'll get up early to do it in the morning. TTFN!!


Here we go again

OK, so where was I? Oh, right, supposed to start school, get a job, etc. Yeah, not so much. I was really enjoying school and actually doing very well, but unfortunately, they didn't want to actually pay me to attend. Go figure. So I decided to put school off, yet again (still a whole other can of worms) and get a job. Yeah, that lasted about a month until I just couldn't get myself out the door to work anymore, either.

Which brings us to now. I have decided to swallow my middle-class issues and apply for General Assistance. AKA, welfare, people. I'm also starting the process of applying for Social Security disability, which could take any where from 3 months to 2 1/2 years. Fun.

The reasons for my change of attitude are many, but one positive thing I've done since I've moved here is to get in touch with the Lupus Foundation of MN. I've also done a LOT of thinking, soul-searching, what have you, and figured out that I've been kind of stuck in the denial stage since I was diagnosed back in 1994. I've been operating under the delusion that I am still basically a normal person, when the truth of the matter is, I'm just not. Now don't get all excited, I'm not saying I'm going to just roll over and become a sick person. What I'm talking about is a change of perspective, and accepting that my body works differently than most people's.

A big part of that is letting go of expectations I have for how my life should be. The simple fact is, I can't do as much as other people. I have to listen to my body, and go at my own pace. I think that all these years I've been trying to go to school, or work, or whatever, I've been trying to be the person I thought I was supposed to be. The truth is, I'm not her. I may never be her again, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I just need to adjust my thinking. And I'm going to need other people to adjust theirs, too. I'm going to need the people close to me to realize that, even though I don't LOOK sick, I am. Some days are much better than others, but even on the best days, I still don't feel "normal".

In other news, there really isn't any. I'm working on the miles of red tape that go along with any government programs and trying to get involved with a support group. I'm also trying to get myself to post in this blog thingy on a regular basis. Hee. Anyway, I'm all typed out for now, so I'm going to sign off. TTFN!!


What is Master Shake a master of, anyway?

I'm a bad girl. I should be continuing my previous post about my "issues" but I don't feel like it. So there. I'm sitting here watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force. This is one severely weird show. This episode features a cow in a diaper who is Meatwad's favorite rapper. Erm... Anyway, my goal is to take some time tomorrow afternoon to finish my memoirs. We'll see how that goes. TTFN!!


Canoe is still hawt!

I'm writing this while watching the Oscars, and I don't care how ...duhhhhh... he is, Keanu Reeves is hot. They're letting Sandra Bullock do most of the talking, though. Good idea.

So I kind of made a Valentine's Day resolution, which is to make a concerted effort to become less of a hermit. When I sat down and really thought about it, I realized I hadn't had a real conversation with anyone who wasn't either living with me or related to me in over a month. That's not cool. I think I made a good start last night with my chili feed. There were Solbergs in attendance, as well as some Andersons. Babies were oohhed over and toddlers said funny things. My hockey team won in fine fashion and everyone went home with leftovers. Tra-la! I think everyone had fun.

For those of you who haven't yet been included in my de-hermiting, I've been having a pretty hard time lately. I think I'll just lay the whole thing out so I don't have to tell it a bunch of times to a bunch of people. So, here goes...

There's no one event that really started the downward spiral, other than the fact that in the summer of 2005 I was feeling fantastic. I was working full time, going to the lake on the weekends, and generally living a pretty normal life (other than that whole living-with-my-parents thing). I guess I got lulled into a false sense of normalcy. I decided it was time to go back to school (yeah, I know, but that's a WHOLE other can 'o worms) and move out of my parents' house. I'd been looking at a program for engineering drafting for a couple of years, but always decided it wasn't really practical to start a whole new degree from scratch when I'm so close to having my bachelor's. Well, I finally decided that finishing my BA wasn't something I cared a whit about, which is probably the reason it hasn't happened. I wanted to do something that would make me happy. I felt like I hadn't done that in a very long time. So I got admitted to the school and took my cousin Sue up on her long-standing offer of a place to live. At the end of October I packed my crap and moved to St. Paul.

When I moved, it was with the understanding that I would have to work while going to school, because the place I was going was considerably more expensive than any of the other institutions of higher learning I've attended in the past. So in a couple of weeks I was supposed to : 1. Move to a new city, 2. Start a new school, and 3. Find a new job. A tall order for a regular healthy person, but as I somehow manage to forget from time to time, I am not a normal healthy person.

Speaking of not healthy, I'm sorry to end this at this point, but I really need to go make myself something to eat so I can take my meds and get to bed at a decent hour. I promise I'll finish the rest soon. In the meantime, check this article out, because it sums up pretty well what it's like to live in my body. The Spoon Theory

Until next time, thanks for reading!!!